All I can say is......"I have five kids!"

I have intended to write more often. I have planned to go to the beach more often (because when you are an island kid 3 or 4 times a week will not suffice). I have intended to shower more often, and walk more often, keep in touch more often, maybe drink wine more often, and on and on and on. I can pile the guilt onto myself like nobody's business. I must have hit the ground running as an infant because I have every intention of conquering the world EVERYDAY! I have set the bar too high for myself, I am aware of it, but I repeat the pattern time and again. Somewhere along the way I grabbed onto this idea that I have something to prove to everybody. This idea that I need to be more, do more, prove more. I am my own worst enemy. In my quest to do it all, and be it all, I have forgotten to breathe.

I am a fisherman's wife, homeschooling mother of 5, working on a blog, managing two Facebook pages, building an Essential Oil business, Reiki practitioner, studying AromaDance, starting an Etsy shop, blah blah blah. Regardless of how passionate I am about all of these endeavors, it will all mean jack shit if I do not slow down and breathe.

This week, when I answered the front door at 11:00 am, to greet complete strangers, in my pajamas, with my hair a mess, I simply said, "I have five children." I have decided that this is how I will respond to any questions from now on. That will be my excuse for everything......"I have five children!"

I received a phone call earlier in the week, regarding the health of one of my father's (I am a lucky girl, I have 3 dads, long story). He lives several states away, and I do not see him nearly enough. I was instantly reminded that the "busy-ness" that we let ourselves get wrapped up in is far less important than our health and our relationships. I, you, we all need to remember to breathe. We need to remember to connect with one another. Our next minute is not a guarantee.

I understand that we all have goals, passions, commitments, responsibilities, and chores that inevitably need tending to. However, take time to breathe. For me, when I stop to breathe and I smell that salty air or a beach rose, those are the moments I most connect with myself. Those are the moments I am reminded to be present and thankful to be here. So, if you happen to see a women in her pajamas, with wild hair, and maybe even a chicken under her arm, with her nose shoved in a rose bush near the sea.....Think to yourself, "Maybe she has five children."

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading,

Island Momma

"The birds are chirping."

One of my sisters (I actually am not sure how many siblings I have, but that is a story for another day...), has made some life choices that have raked her over the coals. She has also been thrown some terrible hurdles. She has struggled an ongoing battle with alcohol, finding every Mr. Wrong who can't keep his hands to himself, and experiencing not one, but two still births. Through all of it, our relationship has been rocky to say the least, but we are sisters, and in our own dysfunctional way, we are best friends. I wish she loved herself as much as I love her. I think sometimes she may think my life is perfect, and I have got it all figured out.....Lately, that has been SO far from the truth. In all honesty I have nothing to complain about. I live in my own version of Paradise. I have a husband that loves me despite my difficult, stubborn, strong willed personality. I have five healthy, amazing, perfectly naughty kids. We have a stable life. We eat well. We know LOVE.

Here is the thing though. It is all relative. No matter what is happening on the outside, we all have our own battles on the inside. Our life experiences have led us to certain thought patterns, and we can be our own worst enemies. Lately, for me, I am driving myself nuts. I haven't been able to pull my thoughts together enough to even write a decent post.

You see, I have recently returned to my childhood home, my childhood neighborhood, my old stomping grounds, after 12 years living away. This is truly fantastic, a dream come true. Here is the thing though.....ALL of the ghosts from the past are creeping up on me. In this small community everyone knows everyone. We are a "drinking village with a fishing problem". As a community we have experienced much loss together. On my street alone we have lost three friends over the years. So, now that I am back, all of the familiarity is stirring up old memories, and I am processing these losses all over again in a sea of emotions.

Another challenge with all these memories of my youth.....is, well....memories of my youth. Memories made by a young, wild, free, independent island girl (not to be confused with any other young girl, because island girls are FAR more wild). That girl had far less responsibility. She had no children, chickens, or businesses to run.....And, she knew how to party.

Well, here I am, all grown up, being haunted by my past, being stalked by the voice of a younger me. All right in the middle of a really intense boat project. A boat project that is a financial strain. A boat project that leaves me with even less of my fisherman's time. A boat project that leaves me out numbered by little people for even more hours per day.

So, the more responsible, older me, is trying to figure out how to bring back some of the younger, wilder, more fun me......in some way that is congruent with raising five kids and building a business. I don't just want to be a mom. I don't just want to be a supportive fisherman's wife. Because, the truth is, even on a good day, my soul is being smothered.

The point of all of this rambling is this: today I ran away for a little while. I called my sister, and she said, "the birds are chirping." I called my sister, and she said, "I have softball practice." So, I ran away from home. I ran away from tension building between me and my husband. I ran away from being a mom. And.....I went all the way to watch my sister practice softball. I had time to breathe. I had time to think. I had time to sort it all out.

I came home with a new perspective. I came home knowing that I need to take a time out more often. I came home knowing that I am SUPER proud of my sister for getting back to her love of softball. She was right the birds were chirping.

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading,

Island Momma

To wash or not to wash.........?

At this point, some of you may think I am a little crazy at times....or all the time, but hey, if some of us don't color outside of the lines we might not have anything to talk about!

I know, I know, eggs come from.....a chicken's back end. There is a high probability that there is some poop involved somewhere along the way. It seems that it the ONLY proper way to care for an egg is to wash it!!!

However, as I have told you before.....I love to read, and research, and question until I arrive at the answer that seems to make the most sense.....Plus, in the name of good homeschooling, everything must be a lesson!!! So, here is why I am comfortable NOT washing my fresh eggs from my happy, healthy, free range, organic, NON GMO, essential oil fed chickens:

• Chickens are laying eggs to hatch! They are designed to lay in a warm nest for 21 days!! So, my eggs are safe and sound on my counter (as long as they are not cracked).

• Chickens coat the eggs with a protective cover called bloom. Bloom is intended to keep bacteria out by sealing all of the pores on the egg. This is an evolutionary mechanism to ensure the safety of the potential chick.

• Once an egg is washed, the bloom protection is removed, and bacteria are free to cross though the shell.......Eeeewwww

• Washing eggs in cold water will push any bacteria, that may be on the surface, directly into the egg.

• Washing eggs in warm water will safely clean the egg, but will still remove the bloom, and allow any bacteria looming about, to enter the egg.

• Once washed the eggs MUST be refrigerated.

• P.S. Factory eggs are commonly washed in a bleach solution.......NO THANK YOU!!!!!

 I know all my chickens by name. We collect our eggs several times a day, and we even say, "Thank You!" We keep our nesting boxes clean, so our eggs are almost always clean. The occasionally dirty egg does happen. In which case we just lightly sand it clean!! 

 Go ahead and do a little research of your own. You might be surprised at what you find. Here are a couple of links to get you started:

http://www.mypetchicken.com/backyard-chickens/chicken-help/What-is-the-best-way-to-wash-and-store-my-eggs-H62.aspx

http://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2014/09/11/336330502/why-the-u-s-chills-its-eggs-and-most-of-the-world-doesnt

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading,

Island Momma

Doing it Our Way......

Everyday as a parent has challenges. No matter how many children you have, no matter where you live, whether you stay at home, work from home, or work outside of the home, parenting is THE TOUGHEST JOB EVER!! I am one of those extra nutty people who has opted to, not only forego a career using my Bachelor's degree, but to keep all five of my little horned-angels home to homeschool......Is it hard? You bet! Do I think about sending them to school sometimes? Sure thing, but guess what, I did, and we all hated it. That experience fell flat on its face, more than once. So, homeschool is just what we are most comfortable with. This is just what works best for us. We get up, without alarm clocks. We eat breakfast together, without being rushed. We all do chores and work together to keep the ship running smoothly. We learn side by side. We run our days on our time. If we are having an off day we adjust our plan accordingly. If our fishing Captain has unexpected free time we have family time.

It isn't always easy, in fact, it is mostly difficult. I wouldn't change it for the world. My children are only going to be children for a short time. I want to give them the best foundation they can have to become the people they really want to be. I want to use these young years to form great bonds with them. I want to foster their individual passions, teach them unconditional love, compassion for other beings, and help them to have an insatiable connection to nature.

So during our days together we learn the fundamentals of reading, writing, and math through art, and storytelling and hands on real life experience. We learn about compassion through caring for our pets and working through challenging family dynamics. Our days may not always be pretty, but they are real.

When we get to share extraordinary moments together, that they would miss out on in a classroom, it is all worth it. Today had a notable moment such as this.........

We woke to an unseasonably warm February day. We made it through breakfast and chores, and even bath time. Then we leashed up our youngest dog, Ruby, our extra motivated, extra strong, extra big for her age, 3 month old, black lab, and headed for the beach. One dog pulling me down the road, one baby on my back, and four big kids (3.5 to 9.5 years old), and to the shore we went.

Last year around this time we were buried in at least 6.5 feet of snow on an outer Maine island. I can't remember specific dates, but for a couple of days in February of 2015 we were also iced in on that island. No boats leaving. No boats coming. Iced in. Disconnected from the world. There was no warm sunny day at the beach.

Today, as the kids practiced writing in the sand, I closed my eyes and just listened to the water gently rolling in. The feel of warm sunshine on my face was just what I needed. Warm sunshine in February, surrounded by happy homeschoolers, the sound of the ocean swooshing into my favorite place in the world..........

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading,

Island Momma